[Jandek] Khartoum Variations Lyrics

[Danen D. Jobe]

Busy weekend for lyrics, I guess. At long last here they are:

1. You Wanted to Leave
You wanted to leave
some of the, the things we've been 
to each other
in a small part of your brain.
I wanted to go to the spirit world.
You were large, large, large, large, large.
Now you're all powder
gone up in smoke
gone down in thunder
you're part of my dream
and now you didn't care.
In the end, like in the beginning
you seem to have gotten bored with me
and after I see now the damage I was doing
it really was a boring life
when you lost your excitement.
But the breeze blows through the trees,
the birds sing their song of songs,
the clouds weave their patterns,
I'm not so different from them

2. Fragmentation
The form of a corporation is delimited
why is it so vernacular
when you talk to a man,
how do you get through?
How do you reach yourself
when it's down to fragmentation
and you're doing your thing?
How could you be another?
It's a simple condition
it's the time of all time
with your thought in an envelope
travelling in my attention
I can't get away from you
no matter what thought control I try
I'm not sure I want to leave
even if I'm waiting alone
The times have changed for me,
the space is a different place
I'm resolute as a robot
I'm a long blank stare
I tear myself to pieces

3. I Shot Myself
I shot myself
I can't get up
I'm beyond repair
I shot myself
I'm over some hill
beyond the valley.
Stars in the black night
sun filters through
forgetting a mountain
time slides in my mind
I know what it is - it's time to die
but the goodness is heartfelt
with the turning of time
and the ways of the broken 
and I know how to hide myself
I shot myself
I can't get up
I'm beyond repair
I shot myself
and your mercy abounds
from when you forgave me
until the ice of your catapult

4. New Dimensions
You're married, I presume
I'm not looking, 
but if you're not - be careful
I'm the vulnerable kind
I love to hurt myself
I hurt myself in love
then I don't care
I don't care
and all the spirits of the spirit world
don't equal you,
because you're gone
and I took you for granted
and I miss you so
and my mind goes through the scenes
when you were in front of me
and you were really in my world.

5. Khartoum
There came a time when I knew
it wasn't your dream.
The things we said weren't so important
and you drifted away
coming back for a moment to remind me
the fact that a day was a long time
and my hormones became unsteady
and you spent your time with your friends.
"Don't you have anything for me?"
I heard you say
but the combination of you not caring
and my inability to comprehend
shot you out in the distant galaxy
and I don't know how to act.
So I take these basic things
and I think about them
But everyone knows I'm unstable
since you went away.
I'm not thinking much these days
in long established ways.
It doesn't matter what I think
I don't care about it
I don't want to think
I want to know
Make me a slow moving creature without complexities
I don't want my mind to go
to a thousand places
Some day I hope to leave this room again
and find you in that woman again.

6. In a Chair I Stare
I don't know what to do 
except sit in a chair
All else is too difficult.
Maybe walk around once in a while
But quick, back to that chair!
Black out my desires,
black out visions of things that are not real
Take stock of all things
and put them away
I'm at the mercy of my brain
I can't control what happens
I can't control my reactions
I'm stuck in a chair
with no one else around the place
It's a crooked demise,
it's a benign appearance
I really don't need some support
I guess we had a total communications breakdown!
The words were not received,
it doesn't matter where came the rejection.
Stuck and in a chair I stare.

7. Move from the Mountain
I wanted to move from the mountain
I wanted to walk among men
small errands, children, and nothing special
were favorite things to you.
The best life could have been so simple,
giving up yours for her - she put you in a trance,
such an entertaining magic
You would have done anything
only the moments she gave you were real,
there wasn't any other personality.
What a gift, what a happy time.
But now that you've moved from the mountain
you can't force yourself to be there again.
Oh yeah, and this world among men is so sad
I can sense my confidence splinter
into pieces that bear your reflection.
Why can't I laugh and be happy?
What kind of vacuum took my enthusiasm?

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