[Jandek] Shaved My Balls

[Leo Holroyd]

I came in the room
It's the room at the top
The top of the stairs, you know the stairs
I came into that one room

Water was already flowing
Sure is soft in this city
Sure is soft water in this city, a bathtub of pearls in this city
Took my briefs off, met the water

You always knew I had a razor in the closet
You knew that you knew, the packet was blue

It was you alone who knew
Even the lords above never saw my razor
The packet said not for sensitive skin
But it glinted in the moonlight, a neon laser

Back up north I'd walk in the wood
Go hunting for birds but I never could
I went back up that way the other day
Well, they'd cleared all the forest away

It makes a man a man to cut some trees
It takes a real man to cut down trees
They did it up north, now it's just leaves
So I thought I'd do some clearing of my own
Take a blade down south, where it's never been known

Well I shaved them
Shaved them
Shaved them
Sheared them
Shaved them
Shaved them good
Saved them
Braved them
Shaved them (x 35)

Don't say it don't make me a real man
Your stare's not fair, the hair's not there, but I'm still ?? *(this last
word is inaudible over the sound of bass being dropped on the floor)*

'Cause that's the macho in me
Shaved my balls until three
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