[Jandek] Lyrics to "SKIRTING THE EDGE"

[Nate Wilson]

Here are the lyrics I promised you guys
They are quite miserable and depressing and dark 
a lot of broken sentences and unfinished thoughts 
but some of his most powerful to date.
 
 
 
 
"The Side of the Road"
When I leave it at the side of the road
like trash to find it's way home
to the earth and the hands of time
When I'm ready to go away for good
and the bargain's been made
I'll just mosey on like I do
When the spark has been ignited to the ends
and the long trail is behind
and the call cannot be ignored
I'll walk into that ?????????
Leave it at the side of the road
I won't need those things no more
I won't need to think about the instinct of what to do
I'll give it all to black and blue
I'll let it all go down surely there's further more to go
But I'm skirting the edge of it now
and I feel like it's coming on
That last mother's not a care
All the desires have closed their doors
 
"I Know My Name"
Take this big picture away
I want to be with the little things
Pain and suffering anguish is my name
just call me anything
but I know my name
I came to deliver a what you want
This pain and anguish
I sat at your door
"Hello my darling, why don't you let me in?"
Thank you, thank you
I know you'll love me
And I love, I learned to love you
because I had no choice.
You got me in mold
and you, I got no choice
and I don't want one
because I choose you
and that's my choice
because you love me
Pain, dark and misery
I want to be with little things
please take this big picture away from me
Take it back from where it came
Let it crawl on the floor and find those little things
Like a ray of sunshine at the end of the day
and good night all of you folks
I'm off to a dream where it dances and plays
and sways.
The change of those little things
You thought you saw it bright and hard
You steeled it down cast your eyes about
I done conquered this thing
what's next on the list
Come on you big things
and establish a jungle all around your site
Nothing can really bind you
You'll kill it first
I love you my darling
You know my name
You don't want to get away
you got where you're going
It's the step into space
You know you can't refuse
There is no doubt
and it sparkles like light 
bouncing off the silver metal on the table
in the big picture with red and blue and green and black
I'm back at this table
and I'm gambling with you
But you're not even here
I lose if I don't win
and I always liked losing because
sometimes later you get to beat yourself again
say "Hi, how'd you do self Yeah I remember you
we went through many places
If we went or didn't go
You win"
I always lose because I love to lose
Someone's got to be on the other side of a got to win
Maybe we're left and right 
I got to losin if you don't make me lose
then you're the same as me
you got to lose and
hey we can lose together
Let's lose everything and go away 
we'll be real lost
and if that's your thing
You lost and so did I
We lost together
Now we're both more lost yeah
I'm so lost you can't find me
There's no other souls in this epiphany
So I'm gambling your fictitious
Mr. Gambling 
Please meet Mrs. Fictitious
We'll curse the world yeah...
curse you world
You brought me so low today I'm happy to curse you world
Get the hints from me
and don't put me in no black suit
I ain't building no barns
You can keep your animals
But put me dark and evil
and I forget about you 
the bad things got me when I went their way
And all I screech from so within
that you can't hear me
And I so like my pain and forget about everything
the universe is gone
It's stopped the time and I escape into the little world
where there's nothing else
I have no responsibilities
It's just money and things
and I hate most of the day
But when the sun goes down
I get a life
The afterglow of the day 
I got enough pain without my body
I throw my body away and make it a slave to me
I got a body for a slave
It do what I want 
it doesn't think
It so don't feel like you're lost now
because I found you
and I put you up on my thumbs
our eyes are dancing in the late day sun
and you are getting aggressive
and you know me
I'm dead
Take this big picture away
I want to be with the little things
Pain and suffering anguish is my name
Just call me anything
but I know my name
I came to deliver what you want
This pain and anguish
I sat at your door
"Hello darling, won't you let me in 
thank you thank you I know you love me"
and I love
I learned to love you
because I had no choice
You got me involved in you
I got no choice
and I don't want one
Because I choose you
and that's my choice
because you love me
Pain dark and misery
Down down down down down
I won't stop going down
and wherever you are
you got to know I'm here
down at the bottom
I'm here so if you visit me
you've got to be down at the bottom too
What you doing here?
This is my place
Why did you disturb me?
I'm lying so low 
I don't want you to find me now
What do I do?
I feel so naked
But you still got your clothes on
You got me stripped to my skin
I've never felt so apparent
Like a mirror you see
I can't get away from this world
At least once every three million years
But I'm here now, take advantage me now
If you don't I'll be away so fast
I'm gone on my last dream
I'm 
I'm conscious right now
saying thank you for blackness and the gone gone world
It was the Frenchman and the Indian they said 
"Hello, how are you, I give you my world"
Let's play the sand and water and forest
We welcome you here, take my daughter
and marry her
The seed was planted that got me into this world
I use electricity just like you do
But the treatment has got me fast falling into you
I'm so happy to fall 
I hope I never rise
What's going down is my joyful ride
and I've been walking for decades
Pain is such a relief and I'm feeling better now
that I'm hurt so bad
Just leave me alone for a thousand years
I'll make myself whole
but I'll take my time
You had your enjoyment
now I'll have mine
I feel happy without you
The pain is just fine
Because I found someone who loved that pain 
and I gave it to her
Now she's infected with the pain
that goes round
And when you share it 
thank god for this pain
I thank God for my stupidity which brings me pain
I love my pain
It gives me my name
But the light that still flickers
is still there when you're gone
I flicker in that light
"The Playground"
What a playground you gave me when you bought that house
It had desert wilderness
It had dunes made of sand
Wild grapes by the river
Match fire dry grass plumes
Cat tails in the swamp
There were hostile stone-throwing savages afar
and they came to our door
My head bled from the thrown stone
My friend's mother took his shirt off my head
And water washed my head and said
"You'll be just fine except don't throw stones
and duck your head when you see them
Long long before they come to your body"
Deflect the barbarians
You can't let nobody take your soul
You have to keep it
Make those things and you're living
you got your head stoned nine years old and
bleeding from your head
and Albert takes his blue shirt from off his back
and wraps my stoned blood head
in his shirt and says
"Come on, let's go"
and we go up his street into his house
and his mother stopped the process of my demise
And then I hit the street all cured and pure clean I swept the scenery 
I touched the water every day
I found you floating in another person everyday
Like some wheel of fortune
I found you
I found you
I found you
I found you
I couldn't take my eyes off of you
and you gave me your presents
You sat down next to me
I brought the chair
I put it down next to me
I beckoned to you
I pointed to the chair
You felt relieved 
You could be at rest next to me
But you were waiting 
Maybe I knew
Maybe not
But how cares when you're engaged in the rapture
of a chance
It will have to pass
Transformance
On to your train 
I want to take a ride
and isolate you
I want you with me
You'll never go away because I'm determined
I'm going to disappear
I watched them disappear
I'm without problems
To clear path every little transfer of time
The Paris flowers in December
Rainbow colors all around I see your garden
I couldn't take my eyes off you
You took my eyes
and I don't mind it at all
I'll gladly give you my eyes as long as you
get the rest too
I ceased my being
I don't exist on my own
I love you
Love you
I'm not me 
I'm you
and I want you to be me
so we can be the same
"Last Sunlight"
I've got to be like ice
Frozen up in time
I can't ever change
It sure is hard to work with less
I want it almost dry
I want you to try try 
Well I go through the motions
and I move about from various places
I'm at my home
It's my home there
Can't be no heavy guy out there
You've got to vanquish your memory and 
remember me
I'm the only thing that exists, and you're 
all around me
I'm the center of the universe
You're everything else
I'm so glad I know you
If it's between 5:30 and 6:00 pm
You know I'll be drinking your water
as I swim in your sea
It's such good exercise
I'm a powerful mage
and I know that you like it
this power I got
Don't feel too good or you'll be feeling bad
Just take it easy
Don't get glad
or don't get sad
I'm so enthralled
It ain't good
No bad
I'll be above it all
If that's where you live
I live with you
There's no difference there
and about the eagle 
yes it to you
I can't find myself
and I don't want to 
All inside of you
and now I see the other mouth 
I look
I need you perfect
that's what you are 
perfect perfect
Ya-oowey
Kill all the bad things
and boom you're back again
The same that you were
I supposed to do this that
That you don't understand
I don't have to change
and if I break my body
it's broken and you hope I am
It's a little place I can go
for some kind of thrill
Exotic and dangerous
Pestulent maybe I don't know
But I know I can't surpass threats
If I'm got to know how you pass time in that place
So intrigued
But I don't have to move
I'm stuck in you
but I'll take you with me
You won't show yourself
and we got gone
and we don't pose a threat
and we are opposites
We come from the North and you can see easy
we're something different today
we could go easy but would we survive the pestulence at the river?
To cross 
To get to that desert on the last part of the river
Did you go north?
It's sand and sun
but on the other side it's a river going up and you go with it
You're where the water starts again
I got to tell you how my head swings low
and I got to love my life
It's my life you see
I lay myself before you 
trample me down
I'm gone for you
I disappear
I divided and conquered 
I laid waste your territory
You loved me for that
I got certain recollection of the rocks and things
I say bye bye bye
I say bye bye 
 
 
 
 
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