[Jandek] Put My Dream on this Planet /Worthless Recluse Album Covers

[Danen D. Jobe]

That the lyrics for this album popped up today "out of the blue" is too weird. Yesterday, I got my box of Jandek down to file Glasgow Monday in with the rest (yes, I keep them all together in a big box, along with the Jandek on Corwood DVD and the two tributes. Almost time to get a bigger box!)and for whatever reason I was compelled to look at this album. I remember so well the horror of it when it first came out, and many list postings were spent trying to deduce just what the hell the cover image was.  So for whatever reason I looked close again, first time in awhile. Then it struck me - this is the first picture of the OLDER Jandek we get. I mean, that's it - that's the hat! The photo's blurred (intentionally so, I think) to make exact features impossible, but that's the same hat (or same type of hat) he's been wearing at the concerts. Curiously, the two other a capella albums feature pictures uncannily in common. This was noted at the time, too, but these pictures might b
e from the same roll of film. VERY similar look - peachfuzz on the face, short hair, slight smile and head cocked to the right in both pics. They are different pictures, but there's something really WRONG about the picture on Worthless Recluse. Look at the head and how it rests on the body. Odd, no? Could this be yet another photoshop? The clothes look right, but the head seems...to have a different lighting, I don't know. Could it be cropped from somewhere else? I'm probably looking too closely at this, but am I the only one who sees it?

possibly losing it,

Danen
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I Need Your Life (1)
I been through your nursery rhyme
I been through your nursery rhyme
I took all your nickels and dimes
But you left me cold
You wouldn?t let me hold
On longer than it took to go
I don?t care if I die
I don?t even care if I?m in a wheelchair
Or in a bed                                                           
(Or in a bed unable to move)
Unable to move                                                 (--)
For all I know
It?s better than what I did today
You lead me on
You bring me up
And then you take away my floor
I?m standing
I?m trying to stand                                                  
(I'm tryin' to stand, but)
Somehow you push me down
You let me up and have me on a shoulder
Tell me go on go ahead on                                      ( Tell 
me, "Go on go ahead on")
And then you push me down
Down
But I know, I know you want to let me up        (But I know, I know you 
gonna let me up)
Another time
And I don?t know why
Sometimes I think maybe
You let me up just to push me down
You let me feel good
Just to let me feel bad
And it was OK
It was so OK
But now I?m slippin?
You gave me one thing
You took away two
I don?t know
Oh, what you?re trying to do
Am I going down the wrong road      (Am I going down the wrong road ?)
Am I doing the wrong thing                 (Am I doing the wrong thing?)
Please let me know
Please tell me loud
I want to know
I?m asking please                                       (I'm asking, 
Please let me know)
Let me know                                                (--)
Let me know the right way
Oh, is there a right way                            (Oh, Is there a 
right way?)
And I know
Yes I know
That there?s a wrong way
I saw today
But you showed me before                      (What you showed me 
before)
That I can lose                                               (That I 
can lose all the faith I had)
All the faith I had                                          (--)
That I can be                                                   (That I 
can be so small)
So small                                                            (--)
That I can lose                                                (That I 
can lose all I got)
All I got                                                              
(--)
All my faith
All my hope
Where does it go                                               (Where 
does it go?)
And you can?t tell me any little thing
Because I feel
I feel                                                                  
     (I feel so bad)
So bad                                                                  
(--)
You can be happy
You can laugh laugh laugh
But I take a look
I see the Chinese
I see the Japanese
They?re laughing and joking
Having a good time
I see people in the paper
I see the models
Oh what a person
I see them walking down the street              (I see 'em walkin' down 
the street)
They look so good
But I can?t have it
I?m locked up
I?m inside this thing
And I can?t
Oh no I cant
I can?t get out
I can?t take what I want
I can see it
Oh I can see it
But it?s not mine
You build me up
You show me these things
You push me down
You say forget it                                         (You say, 
"Forget it)
You can?t have anything                          (You can't have any 
thing)
You just stay down                                    (You just stay 
down")
I say let me up                                              (I say, 
Let me up)
Please let me up
You gotta let me up
You pushed me down
Down on the ground
I can?t be here
I can?t be here
Please make a change
Help me live
I want to give
I want to do
I want to have your life
I want to have your life
Give me your life
Let me up
I know you can let me up                          (I know you, you can, 
you can, you can, you can let me up )
You don?t have to keep me down
You don?t have to                                        (You don't 
have to, you don't have to, you don't have to keep me down)
You don?t have to                                        (--)
You don?t have to keep me down          (--)
Keep these things
Away from me
These bad things
Away from me
I wanna be right
I?m willing to live a routine
I?m willing to exercise my day
I?m willing to give up
Hah, I?m willing
Oh I?m willing
You?ve got to let me up
You know I?ll do anything but
Don?t push me down
Don?t push me down
You make me wonder
What should I do                                          (What should 
I do?)
Should I come out                                        (Should I come 
out?)
Yeah, should I leave this thing                (Yeah, should I leave 
this thing?)
I can do it
I can do it
Is that what you want                                   (Is that what 
you want?)
I don?t think so
But you can change my mind
You can change my mind
You can have me
Have all of me
All but, let me up                                          (Oh, but 
let me up)
Let me up
Give me a chance
Don?t push me down
Don?t push me down
And you know I
I know, I can?t ever
Push you down
I can?t ever
Let you up
You got it all
You got it all
Give me some
Give me some of your life
I want your life
I want your life
I?m willing to pay                                         (I?m willin' 
to pay)
Pay the price                                                 (Take the 
price out of my life)
Out of my life                                                (--)
Take what it costs
You got it all
You always had it all
So take it all
You know you got it
Yeah I?ll live on
I?ll live on
And I see the Chinese
I see the beautiful people
I want them                                                             
     (I want 'em)
But I don?t need them                                             (But 
I don?t need 'em)
I don?t need them                                                     
(I don?t need 'em)
You know what I need
I need you
Give me your life
Give me your life
Take mine
Take my life
You got it
It?s always been yours
Always been yours
You got my life
You got it
Give me yours
Give me your life
Give me your life
Give me your life
I need your life
I need your life
I need your life
So what do I do                                                        
(So what do I do?)
Just what do I do                                                     
(Just what do I do?)
You?d better show me
Show me
Don?t push me down
Don?t push me down
Yeah, yeah I know
You can push me down
You can push me down
You can crush me
You can snuff me out
I don?t care
I don?t care if I die
I don?t care if I?m in a wheelchair
I don?t care if I?m in a bed
And I can?t even move
Hey, would it be worse than today                      (Hey, would it 
be worse than today?)
You can pick me up
Please pick me up
Oh please                                                               
(Oh, please pick me up)
Pick me up                                                             
(--)
Please
Oh please                                                               
  (Oh, please pick me up)
Pick me up                                                              
  (--)
You can pick me up
Don?t push me down
Don?t push me down
I feel bad
I feel bad
I been here before
I?ve had your nursery rhymes
I?ve had your nickels and dimes
I had your good times
I had your lovely people                            (I had your lovely 
people all over me)
All over me                                                       (--)
I liked it
Now they?re all gone
Now I?m alone
But you got me still
Yeah you got me still
You let me move around
But you got me still
And you know it
And you let me up
But then you go and push me down
And you hurt me
And times you hurt me bad                        (Sometimes you hurt me 
bad)
And I?ve got one fear                                     (And I've got 
one fear in my life)
In my life                                                            
(--)
And that fear is that I?m slippin?               (And that fear is that 
I?m slippin?, I'm slippin')
I?m slipping
And I see it
And I feel it
And I know it
And I know, it doesn?t have to be this way
Tell me what I?m doing wrong
Tell me
Tell me what I?m doing wrong
Because I want to be right                                 (Because I 
like to do right)
I want to be good
I don?t want to be bad
I know some people like to be bad
And they sing about being bad
And they say ?I?m bad?
You know, I want to be good
I want to be right
I want to be good and right
I don?t want to have to fight and lose
Please let me win
Let me win this war
I?m on your side
I?m on your side
What else I gonna do                                 (Where else I 
gonna be?)
You push me down
You let me up
I don?t want to be down
I don?t want to be down
Please
Please
Let me up
Let me win
Let me get this war taken care of
I?ll be on your side
Where else am I gonna be
Uhh, I love you
I surely do
If you want me down
I?ll be on the ground
But let me feel
Like I?m not losing ground
Let me win
Let me be on top somehow some way
I don?t need to be conventional
Let me up
Let me up
Oh please let me up
You know it?s been so long
It?s been so long
I?m trying to remember                                      (I?m tryin' 
to remember)
It?s not easy
I see myself slipping
I don?t want to slip
Let me up
Let me up
I need to be up
I need to be right
I?m willing to work                                                 
(I?m willin' to work)
Ah, work, work                                                        
(Ah, work, workin')
I?m willing to work
I love you
I love you
Ahh, I love you
I love you
Please let me win
Let me win
Somehow let me win
I need to win                                                           
         (Listen, I, I need to win)
Let?s not have any misunderstanding
I need to win                                                           
         (I NEED TO WIN)
I?m asking, please don?t push me down               (And I'm asking, 
Please don?t push me down)
I need to win your love
And I?ll do anything
I don?t know if I?m hurting myself
I surely hope not
But I feel like I may be slipping
I want some help
So I don?t have to go down
?Cause I see the Chinese and the Japanese
Laughing, talking, acting just like animals
Why can?t I be like an animal
Take care of myself the right way
Sure would be good nice
Sure
Let me ask you                                                          
                    (Let me ask you another time)
Another time                                                            
                     (--)
Treating me right                                                       
                 (Treat me right)
Treating me right                                                       
                 (Treat me right)
I got some kind of feeling I?m not being treated right
I don?t know if I?m not treating myself right
Or you?re not treating me right
But I?m slipping                                                        
                      (But I?m slippin')
And I don?t want to be slipping                                         
       (And I don?t want to be slippin')
I want to move on
I want to create
I want to be ahead
I want to win
I want to love
I want to feel like I?m moving and doing things right
But oh I don?t feel too good about it
Why not                                                                 
                              (Why not?)
Why don?t I feel good                                                   
                 (Why don?t I feel good?)
Hey I don?t know about other people
I don?t know what they do
I don?t know if they feel right
Sometimes they look like they feel just fine and I don?t know




********************************

After such a dark night of the soul
The morning tastes so sweet


Recorded Live, on pilgrimage around that holiest of interior mountains

Al Heldermon

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