[Jandek] Instal 2005 lyrics

[Seth Tisue]

Any insight into the ???'s, please write.

We ???? the invitation
To experience new ideas
I remember the estate
The great grassy hill where we assembled
Above the iron fences
Before the mansion on the hill
We waited for the sights to see
The enlightment to follow
Thousands of us on that hill
High up on the grassy knoll
When they came to collect us
For the sessions next to come
As we filed into the mansion
We were led to separate rooms
And we assembled for instruction
Pointing on charts to words and concepts
But at some time it seemed to me
The thoughts were filled with falsity
It was a plan to enslave us
To bring us to their world to stay
Damaged by their perverse thinking
Losing our minds and souls to them
I quickly knew I couldn't be there
But also I knew I had to stay
Hoping as the time elapsed
That we would have a chance to leave
It seemed the choice was being altered
By controllables ???? ????
We could not leave so easily
It seemed they were forcing us to stay
I got concerned and looked around
While others slowly lost their wits
And succumbed to the thought plans
Perpetrated by the powers that be
By the hosts of our gathering
Who now became the keepers of our bodies
So it was time to think real hard
How could I come out of this
I tried to get some others
To see what I saw
But they just flitted in and out
And they knew it was my preoccupation
I had to take care of myself
So I pretended to be with them
But I knew that I must go

All the girls in the room were trying to love me
They didn't understand how I could just say no
There were other men there too
So they put their charms to them
All the rooms, it seemed, were love rooms
I didn't know what it meant
I was waiting for the explanation
But the truth was not to come
It seemed I stepped into a quagmire
Some strange place I couldn't leave
I paced inside at the tall fence
And the guards that kept it safe from the estate
I tried to plan out of the situation I was in
I talked about it to some others
As we were ???? to and fro
In the halls and rooms there were congregations
Trying to convince we visitors that they were special
Some kind of god-man was their leader
But we felt like in a trap
With some concern for our lives
As we struggled through the mind maze
The puzzle of this place we were in
And the die-hard perpetrators of some myth of mind control
But I knew that they were wrong
And I was free and they were not
So I secretly prepared my way out
Looking for an opening in the schematic of the structure all around me
I could see
We walked in here willingly
We had some interest in the plan
But they games they play inside
With their bodies and their minds
Were a trick to trap us
Even though many seemed to go along
But I was steadfast in my struggle
To be free and independent
I never gave up who I was
I didn't go along with them

You fell down at the ??? ???
Your eyes were staring far away
I asked you if you had a heart attack
As you winced with such great pain
Clutching your heart with desperation
You said that yes, you did
I carried you out to the car
Hastily prepared for our departure
Dead leaves and dirt were in the back seat
Where I held you in my arms
I said I'd carry you forever
And would you please stay with us
You didn't say a word
You just stared into my eyes
You were holding onto life
But then you let it go away
You woke up and I was still there
You said it before seem to change (?)
But then you stared into my eyes
As I was holding you forever
We finally got to the hospital
I fell down and couldn't get up
No one wanted to help us
I struggled but my knees were weak
But I was holding you forever
As you stared into my eyes
Someone finally came to help us
But they couldn't lift us up
I told them just to help me
That I would lift you up
They tried to help me
So I could carry you again
But I ??? ???
Even down there on the floor
You were always in my arms
>From the time I saw you falling
When you went through such great pain
Clutched your heart and I knew
You could die unless I helped you
No one else seemed to care
So I took you in my arms
And I carried you to the car
I said I would carry you forever
As you stared into my eyes

-- 
Seth Tisue | http://tisue.net